Best Laid Plans
by Stargazing BasketCase
Summary: John and Teyla got bored, got inventive, and got caught. Sheyla.


Title: **Best Laid Plans**

Rating: T – for dodginess.

Summary: John and Teyla got bored, got inventive, and got caught. Sheyla.

Disclaimer: Don't own, made no money, same old, same old…

I know, it's daft. It came from a prompt in a list I was sent by a friend to help combat my temporary writer's block… The prompt was 'back alley', and I was in a strange, Sheyla-y mood. And I decided there wasn't nearly enough Sheyla humour out there. So I wrote this.

R&R is much appreciated... and enjoy!

Best Laid Plans

John Sheppard was _bored. _

He loved his job: really, he did. But sometimes he just got so monumentally bored that he just wanted to pull his hair out. He hadn't experienced many of those particular moments since he joined the Atlantis Expedition and entered the Pegasus Galaxy, but there were still a few, lurking in the shadows.

Such as today.

The Colonel appreciated that Atlantis needed to trade in order to, well, _survive_, but it didn't mean he had to enjoy procrastinating with extremely arrogant and tedious people about the price of some coffee-ish substance.

Rodney, on the other hand, was alert, intent, leaning forward and biting his lip with nervousness. But then again, it was coffee.

John leaned back in his chair and let Elizabeth blather on with the negotiations. He extended his long legs under the table and gently nudged Teyla's calf. She glanced over at him from her seat on the opposite side of the table, and he rolled his eyes. She mock-glared, but nodded briefly in agreement. And coming from her, that was something.

And then he had a sudden burst of inspiration on exactly _how _to survive the dull trade-talks. He twisted slightly in his padded chair as he quietly wrestled his right boot off his foot. Teyla's attention returned to Weir and her persuading as he battled with his footwear. Well. Her 'attention'.

John smiled a wicked little grin and slowly stroked his socked toes up the inside of her right calf.

Teyla gasped softly and snapped her attention back to him, her brown eyes wide. He caught his lower lip between his teeth and smiled enticingly. His foot inched further up her leg, resting softly against the inside of her thigh.

Ronon, seated to John's right, frowned at Teyla across the wooden table. "Y'okay?" he asked softly. Neither Rodney, Elizabeth or their prospective trading partner noticed.

Teyla forced a smile back at him. "I am fine," she whispered tersely in response. Ronon's frown deepened and he glanced at Sheppard, who merely looked back innocently, with a smile playing at his lips.

Ronon got it. He rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat.

John slowly flexed his foot, watching as her breathing sped up. He could have sworn he could see her pulse beneath the skin of her throat, pounding away, faster and faster. A wave of heat rippled through his body, and he tugged unconsciously at the collar of his shirt. She caught his gaze from across the table, and his foot froze at the predatory gleam in her dark eyes. To quote Captain Jack Sparrow, from the recent bootlegged copy of 'Pirates of the Caribbean' the Daedalus had smuggled across galaxies… _Oh bugger. _

The fingers of Teyla's left hand slid down his leg, her other fixing his ankle in place. Material bunched up around his knee as her exploration bared more and more skin. Her nails lightly raked against his flesh. He shuddered, open-mouthed, captivated by her come-hither expression and sensuous movements.

With a jerk, John pulled himself back into a sitting position, wrenching his foot out of her grasp. He fumbled his boot back on, and then met her amused gaze. _Later, _she mouthed, and then turned back to Elizabeth, once again with the poise of an angel.

Ronon leant over to John. "Bit too much to handle?" he asked innocuously.

John glared. "Shut up."

---------

Later turned out to be during a fortuitous break in the discussions.

While Rodney impressed onto Elizabeth exactly _how _important it was that they get these coffee-esque beans, and Ronon watched in silent amusement, Teyla intertwined her fingers into John's and tugged on his hand. "Come with me." Her voice was husky, throaty. Sheppard's knees turned to water.

The pair almost ran through the back corridors of the local town hall until Teyla wrenched open a door, leading out into an empty alleyway. She pulled John after her, and slammed the door shut.

He swallowed. "If we get caught…"

"We won't."

"Teyla…"

One look silenced him most effectively, and then he was up against the stone wall with her lips on his.

Things got a little hazy after that.

---------

"Where _are _they?" Doctor Weir folded her arms in irritation and glared around, before reaching up to call Colonel Sheppard… for the tenth time.

Ronon, however, had a fairly good idea of where Sheppard and Teyla had gotten to. He'd seen the looks the two of them had been exchanging during the — admittedly dull — negotiations. The Satedan's attention returned to Weir as she exhaled roughly in annoyance. He raised one hand, and said, "I'll go look for them. You two go ahead."

McKay was bouncing with anticipation. "Yes Elizabeth, I'm sure Ronon can find them. We have the _coffee _to get. Remember the _coffee_?!"

Ronon watched the scientist warily. He seriously worried about the sanity of his teammates sometimes.

Elizabeth ignored Rodney and nodded an affirmative to him. "Contact me when you've found them," she ordered.

Ronon smirked before heading out. "I will."

---------

John moaned softly, unable to help himself. "Jesus, Teyla," he whispered hoarsely, trying to stop his voice from cracking. He was full aware that they _really _shouldn't be doing this, and that if they got caught the repercussions would not be pleasant, but… Another groan rumbled from his throat as her hands got to work, and he rapidly lost his grip on any train of thought.

Her beautiful, malicious, smile filled his foggy vision. "Next time, you wait until we get back to Atlantis," she murmured.

Any quirky reply was wiped from existence as a whimper frustration welled up in his throat. She raised one eyebrow at him. "Well?"

His head slammed back against the wall, and he winced. _That's gonna be interesting to explain to Cars… _His thoughts trailed off, again. His knees trembled and it was abruptly only her firm grasp that kept him propped limply against the wall.

"John?"

"…unh…"

She kissed him again then, smiling against his lips. "I will take that as a 'yes'."

"Probably accurate."

Teyla sprang off John, leaving him to slide to the ground in an undignified heap. "Ronon!" she semi-yelped. John could only blink, trying to get his bearings back. And to quench the blazing fire that roiled through his body.

The Satedan sauntered down the back alley towards them as John managed to push himself to his feet. Ronon's lips twitched in an encroaching grin, and he nodded to his commanding officer. "Colonel."

"Ronon." John's voice was scratchy and hoarse. He coughed.

"Weir's expecting you," was all the dreadlocked warrior said, before reaching for his radio. "Ronon to Weir."

"_You found them?" _came Elizabeth's voice. John winced.

"Yeah. I did." That irritating smirk was still twitching the corner of Ronon's mouth. Teyla and John exchanged a glance.

"_Where were they?" _

Ronon smirked. "I'll let you ask them that yourself," he rumbled gruffly, evidently trying to hold back a laugh. John glared. "Ronon out." And without another word, he strode out of the alleyway, his shoulders shaking with repressed laughter.

Teyla's fingers trailed up John's arm, and she lightly kissed his jaw, before whispering, "When we get back to Atlantis."

Then she followed Ronon, her hips swaying just _slightly _more than usual.

John glared after them both, and then let his features relax into a grin.

Being caught necking in a back alley, by _Ronon _of all people… Not exactly what John Sheppard had planned for today. And once Rodney caught wind of this, he was _never _going to be able to live it down.

Ah well.

At least he wasn't bored anymore.

--end--


End file.
